CONCORDIA DIF ANGLAIS FORMATION LANGUES LINGUISTIQUE SEJOUR PNL COMMUNICATION

 

Any of you guys who have spent some time with me in a Workshop situation will know that I often refer to the Pareto Law or Principle.

I’m gradually realizing that many people don’t actually know what it is so here is a sort of definition.

CONCORDIA DIF ANGLAIS FORMATION LANGUES LINGUISTIQUE SEJOUR PNL COMMUNICATION

The Pareto principle (also known as the 80/20 rule and the law of the vital few) states that in many things, 80% of the consequences come from 20% of the causes.

Vilfredo Pareto, an Italian economist is credited with it. He observed that 80 percent of the land in England (and every country he subsequently studied) was owned by 20 percent of the population.

CONCORDIA DIF ANGLAIS FORMATION LANGUES LINGUISTIQUE SEJOUR PNL COMMUNICATION

 

Over the years, he and many others observed this rule in action in different spheres. Some examples: CONCORDIA DIF ANGLAIS FORMATION LANGUES LINGUISTIQUE SEJOUR PNL COMMUNICATION

 

1. Relationship: Twenty percent of the people you know (friends, colleagues, family) provide you with 80 percent of support and satisfaction.
2. Business: Twenty percent of customers will account for 80 percent of profit.
3. Productivity: Twenty percent of your activities will account for 80 percent of your success.
4. Gardening: Eighty percent of garden peas are produced by 20 percent of the peapods. True
5. 80% of the cigarettes I smoke are not “essential”!!!!

How can we put the 80/20 principle to good use?

The Pareto principle is great to increase your focus. Don't try to do more. Just do more of the right things. For example, out of our many maladaptive behaviors, twenty percent of it will contribute to 80 percent of all our hardship and misery.

CONCORDIA DIF ANGLAIS FORMATION LANGUES LINGUISTIQUE SEJOUR PNL COMMUNICATION

 

So working on just these 20 percent can greatly contribute to our personal growth. Time management is another area where the rule can be very effective. If you have a lot of work to do, break it down to specific activities and figure out what twenty percent of the tasks listed contributes to eighty percent of the results you seek.

Secondly, give your maximum concentration to those 20 percent tasks.

So how do you know if you're working on the twenty percent that really matters?

1. It makes you feel good because you are doing what you always wanted or you know it'll help with your goals.
2. You are doing the tasks that you'd like to procrastinate, but know that it is essential.
3. You delegate tasks to others that you aren't good at.
4. You are doing something that uses your creativity

A few clues that you aren't utilizing your time effectively:

1. You are doing things that other people want you to do.
2. You are doing things that you aren't good at.
3. You are doing things you don't enjoy doing (provided that it doesn't also contribute to your goals).
4. You are doing things that always take you a lot of time and energy.

CONCORDIA DIF ANGLAIS FORMATION LANGUES LINGUISTIQUE SEJOUR PNL COMMUNICATION

With a little effort, and the application of the 80-20 rule, we can save a lot of our emotional and physical energy and heartache to concentrate on stuff that really matters and enriches our life.

When you really want to succeed and / or do something exceptional, focus on the remaining 20% too.

(Please note that the 20% and 80% used above are intended as rough estimates since actual proportions are rarely exactly 20% and 80%. However it is a very useful rule of thumb to remember Pareto's principle.)

CONCORDIA DIF ANGLAIS FORMATION LANGUES LINGUISTIQUE SEJOUR PNL COMMUNICATION

CONCORDIA DIF ANGLAIS FORMATION LANGUES LINGUISTIQUE SEJOUR PNL COMMUNICATION

CONCORDIA DIF ANGLAIS FORMATION LANGUES LINGUISTIQUE SEJOUR PNL COMMUNICATION

CONCORDIA DIF ANGLAIS FORMATION LANGUES LINGUISTIQUE SEJOUR PNL COMMUNICATION

CONCORDIA DIF ANGLAIS FORMATION LANGUES LINGUISTIQUE SEJOUR PNL COMMUNICATION

CONCORDIA DIF ANGLAIS FORMATION LANGUES LINGUISTIQUE SEJOUR PNL COMMUNICATION

CONCORDIA DIF ANGLAIS FORMATION LANGUES LINGUISTIQUE SEJOUR PNL COMMUNICATION

CONCORDIA DIF ANGLAIS FORMATION LANGUES LINGUISTIQUE SEJOUR PNL COMMUNICATION

CONCORDIA DIF ANGLAIS FORMATION LANGUES LINGUISTIQUE SEJOUR PNL COMMUNICATION

CONCORDIA DIF ANGLAIS FORMATION LANGUES LINGUISTIQUE SEJOUR PNL COMMUNICATION

CONCORDIA DIF ANGLAIS FORMATION LANGUES LINGUISTIQUE SEJOUR PNL COMMUNICATION

 

 

 

TO THE TRAINING TEAM - YOU ARE REMARKABLE ! YES, YOU !

 

ANGLAIS PNL COMMUNICATION LINGUISTIQUE SEJOUR COURS DALE HARRISON DALE HARRISON DIF DIF DIF DIF DIF DIF DIF ANGLAIS ANGLIAS DIF FORMATION FORMATION LINGUISTIQUE PNL PNL PNL PNL PNL DIF DIF

CREATIVITY IS A BAD WORD IN TRAINING !!

Creativity is vitally important to crafting effective trainings and content.

But mention the word “creative” around training managers and they’ll think that you are some bohemian, dope smoking, non-result orientated weirdo. Which may be the case.

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Outside of Art School, the ad industry and maybe Hollywood, creativity is not always the first thing people look for when you are asked to do your job.

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In training, we are supposed, in France especially, to be imparters of information. The expectation is that we stand there and give out traditional forms of info regarding the English language : grammar, vocabulary and all that shit. We are supposed to fulfill the « expectations of the trainees ».

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Well, you can throw that piece of shit outta the window now ! You guys are not imparters of information, you are facilitators for the development of the participants’ communication skills in English.

DIF DIF DIF DIF ANGLAIS ANGLIAS DIF FORMATION FORMATION LINGUISTIQUE PNL PNL PNL PNL PNL DIF DIF

 

A great part of that responsibility, which is a heavy one, is for you to be creative in your vtraining sessions and for you to transmit that ability to be creative to the participant. If you can help the participant to be creative in their communucation in English then you can actually say that you have rendered them autonomous and that your training has had sustainable results.

DIF DIF DIF DIF ANGLAIS ANGLIAS DIF FORMATION FORMATION LINGUISTIQUE PNL PNL PNL PNL PNL DIF DIF

 

 

YOU AND YOUR CREATIVITY

Therefore, if you want to be a remarkable trainer then you need to be creative.

But, we also need to remember that content should be useful and valuable to the participant, not simply an indulgent exercise in self expression.

You need to,constantly remeMber that the way you express the content is the key to the participant receiving the message and then developing and using the tools you give them.

Still, creativity is key when it comes to training approach (expression) and content that works.

It’s when you create something useful to others that you add value to the world of your participants.

DIF DIF DIF DIF ANGLAIS ANGLIAS DIF FORMATION FORMATION LINGUISTIQUE PNL PNL PNL PNL PNL DIF DIF

 

Creative Adaptation for Remarkable Content

Inspiration from other sources is what creativity is all about.

It seems that many people believe creativity involves pulling a completely brand new idea out of thin air.

In truth, creativity is an adaptive process that consists of looking at the same existing thing everyone else is and thinking about it differently.

Even Michelangelo believed that “the best of artists has no conception that the marble alone does not contain within itself.”

He saw his sculptures within the mass of marble, and simply removed the parts that didn’t belong in order to “free the figures slumbering in the stone.”

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Look in unlikely places for connections and angles that can enhance your content. If only one aspect of another subject area meets your needs, roll like Michelangelo and get rid of the parts that don’t belong.

Where Do We Find Inspiration?

So, where do you discover your own creative angles for content? This insight may be useful :

The creative person wants to be a know-it-all.

She wants to know about all kinds of things—ancient history, nineteenth century mathematics, current manufacturing techniques,football, polders, slavery, sustainable development, pop music, NLP, Hollywood…… OTHER PEOPLE IN THE TEAM !!!!!!

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Why? Because she never knows when these ideas might come together to form a new idea. It may happen six minutes later, or six months, or six years. But she has faith that it will happen.

In other words, what you learn outside of your niche may well be more important than your substantive expertise. Read everything you can across diverse topic areas, and live life to the fullest for inspiration at every turn.

OUR TEAM AS A REFLEXION OF CREATICITY

You ever noticed how diverse the team is ? Not just in nationality but in background, experience, lifestyles ? Ever noticed that there are no English teachers here ?

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I mean, who the heck would have thought, 12 months ago, that we would have people at Concordia learning English through cooking, having a dancing trainer, trainees playing football or doing their sessions to a 500 decibel background of Oasis ?

A Swedish speaking black ice-skating champion, a Welsh girl speaking Arabic, a Franco-Brazilain silerversmith, a Dutch primary school teacher, a Serbo-Zimbabwean lawyer, an Americano-Dutch milkmaid beautician with a speciality in essential oils and their impact on the learning process !!!!

You are all different, you are all remarkable as John Grinder, the father of NLP once said « the difference makes the difference ». Pretty profound that one, but it has always stuck in my mind.

So, plunge into your lives, into your pasts, into your dreams for the future (what kind of trainer do I want to become ?), plunge into the experience of your friends, your children, your team members and CREATE !

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DIF DIF DIF DIF ANGLAIS ANGLIAS DIF FORMATION FORMATION LINGUISTIQUE PNL PNL PNL PNL PNL DIF DIF

DIF DIF DIF DIF ANGLAIS ANGLIAS DIF FORMATION FORMATION LINGUISTIQUE PNL PNL PNL PNL PNL DIF DIF

 

 

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“BE BOLD!”

“I am of the opinion that the boldest measures are the safest” – Horatio Nelson (if the French don’t know who he is, they bloody well should!)

 

Being Bold, brave, , is not always the easiest thing to be when you are in front of an audience, a meeting or in a face-to-face training.

Concordia formation linguistique anglais PNL developpement personnel communication

However, it is probably, bizarrely, the safest attitude to take if you want your trainings to be successful and if you want to be happy in your job.

Concordia formation linguistique anglais PNL developpement personnel communication

 

Nowadays, the word ‘Bold’ is a bit old-fashioned, but it’s the adjective that Nelson used  and that if we look at the great statesmen of the twentieth-century; Churchill, Kennedy, Martin Luther King or more recently Bill Clinton and Barack Obabma, than this is one adjective that they all share. They are/were all bold.

Concordia formation linguistique anglais PNL developpement personnel communication

 

In our more modern context, I suppose we would talk about being “assertive”.

 

It’s very easy to say that we should be ‘assertive’, but what does it mean really?

Concordia formation linguistique anglais PNL developpement personnel communication

 

What is being bold/assertive?

 

Don't just focus on what you want to say.

Most misunderstandings arise because of how you say it.

Concordia formation linguistique anglais PNL developpement personnel communication

 

Regardless of the level of our communication skills, interacting with people can often be quite stressful. Learning to be assertive can help us reduce and cope with this stress.

Assertiveness is a communication style where we express our personal rights and feelings more openly.

Everyone is assertive to some level, but the level of assertiveness could vary according to the social situation. For example, a man could be very assertive with his colleagues at work, but not with his wife and kids. Assertiveness training (AT) defines some basic concepts and skills to enhance our assertive behavior under varied social interactions.

Concordia formation linguistique anglais PNL developpement personnel communication

 

Communication Style

Assertiveness training defines three different communication styles used by us when we interact with someone:

• Aggressive: Examples of aggressive behavior are fighting, accusing, threatening, and a general disregard for the other persons feeling. Aggression is about dominance. A person is aggressive when they impose their will onto another person and tries to force them to submit.
• Passive: People behave passively when they let others push them around, when they do not stand up for themselves, and when they do what they are told regardless of how they feel about it. Passivity is about submission. Nobody likes being dominated, but it might seem like the smart thing to do at the time (perhaps to avoid disagreement or confrontation).
• Assertive: Assertiveness is about finding the middle path,” the third way” as Tony Blair would say!. We behave assertively when we stand up for ourselves (when required), express our true feelings, and do not let others take advantage of us while, at the same time, being considerate of others' feelings, i.e. when we employ empathy.

Obviously being aggressive or passive has its advantages. If you are always aggressive, people won't try to push you around and you may get things done by scaring the shit outta people. Concordia formation linguistique anglais PNL developpement personnel communication

 

People who are passive and give in to the demands of others may stave off disagreements or confrontation and be generally liked by everyone.

However, if you are conceived as pushy and aggressive, people would prefer to avoid you.

Passive people might end up being taken for a ride, as people take advantage of them, and then there’s a good chance that they might feel anger and resentment at a later point (but not demonstrate it – it kinda goes septic and that is bad news)

Personal Boundaries / Rights

Assertive behavior is about a balanced approach.

Concordia formation linguistique anglais PNL developpement personnel communication

 

It is not about simply choosing between an aggressive or passive style of communication. It's about respecting the rights (personal boundaries) and feelings of others and expecting others to respect your rights and feelings too.

If someone doesn't respect your rights and feelings, you communicate it to them.

It isn't about scoring points or getting even by lashing out at them (aggressive) or feeling hurt and not talking about it so as to not embarrass the other person (passive). Assertiveness is about respect - for self and others. Concordia formation linguistique anglais PNL developpement personnel communication

 

Assertiveness training emphasizes that to be assertive, one must be clear about their (and others) rights while communicating. The five basic rights of every individual:

1. You have the right to do anything as long as it does not hurt someone.
2. You have the right to maintain your dignity by being assertive - even if it hurts someone else (provided you are not intentionally trying to hurt them i.e. being aggressive).
3. You have the right to make a request from someone, as long as you recognize that the other person has the rights to say no.
4. In many interpersonal situations the rights aren't clear. But you always have the right to discuss the problem with the persons involved, to clarify it.
5. You have the rights to your rights.

Assertive Behavior

The behavioral characteristics of assertion include:

1. Openness & Concision implies being clear and specific about what you want, think and feel. A lack of openness often leads to misunderstanding. "I didn't like that movie", "I feel irritated when you show up late", "I want to eat Chinese. Can we get Chinese?" are statements that are clear and unlikely to be misinterpreted. All stuff that we’re gonna discover in our NLP trainings.
2. Directness means addressing the person / situation directly. For example, if you are in a group and want to say something to someone, communicate directly with that person instead of addressing the whole group and hoping that the person gets the message. Or, if you want your husband to get you vegetables from the supermarket, address it directly, "Will you please get a packet of frozen peas from the supermarket?" instead of asking, "Will you, by any chance, be going out today?".
3. Honesty in communication implies that you be truthful and not mislead the other person. Example: your friend says, "I don't like your hairstyle" and you reply, "Yes, I don't too" when in fact you actually do. When we aren't honest, we deprive the other person a chance to get to understand and know us better.
4. Appropriateness implies taking the social and cultural context into consideration before communicating. Asking out a girl in a bar might be appropriate, but trying to get a date with a widow on her husband’s funeral can certainly get you into trouble. In other words, don't forget your manners!

If our communication isn't open and direct, the other party has to do a lot of guessing work to determine what we are actually trying to say or want. They may also feel manipulated (especially if you are being dishonest too). Behaving inappropriately will lose you respect and invite ire against you.

As we grow older and deal with more complex social interactions between friends, family and co-workers, we also learn to be flexible. Here, flexibility implies learning to control emotions so that we can choose our communication style as per the situation, and not let our emotions dictate our approach.

For example, if your boyfriend/girlfriend or boss is yelling at you, it would be more prudent (and assertive) of you to NOT give in to anger and be aggressive too.

However with a stranger you might prefer (choose) to be angry and aggressive when threatened, to have an advantage. Or you might purposefully choose to be passive when you are being robbed at gun point, so as to not endanger your life (even if you know Karate and fell like thrashing the mugger!).

Becoming Assertive

After understanding the basic concepts, the next step in assertiveness training is practicing it out. Assertiveness training deals with behaviors of various complexity. In the first phase, we need to practice our non-verbal cues. This means, while communicating

• Stand straight
• Make eye contact
• Speak loud enough

If we don't, we quickly lose contact with the other person, our voice might sound monotonous and our communication rambling and indirect, and the other person will have trouble following us and get bored or annoyed.

In the second phase, we need to practice

• saying yes or no, when we want to
• ask favors and make requests
• communicate our feelings and thoughts in an open and direct way
• and handle put downs

In the third phase, we need to learn

• adaptive behaviors in job situations
• the ability to form and maintain a social network
• develop close, personal relationships

CONCLUSION

This is the whole point of the work we’re at Concordia. You guys are in a perfect situation to test these approaches and/or say ‘shit, that’s what I’m doing already!’, but you simply didn’t realise it.

In fact, the whole motivation of your trainings should be to develop our participants’ skills so that they can become more bold/assertive in English.

In some cases, you may discover that by becoming more assertive in English, they suddenly become more assertive in French.

Through this process, they become bolder and have the courage to push their communication in both languages further and through this process they realise that they feel happier with themselves so in the end the “boldest measures are the safest!”

Concordia formation linguistique anglais PNL developpement personnel communication

Concordia formation linguistique anglais PNL developpement personnel communication

Concordia formation linguistique anglais PNL developpement personnel communication

Concordia formation linguistique anglais PNL developpement personnel communication

Concordia formation linguistique anglais PNL developpement personnel communication

Concordia formation linguistique anglais PNL developpement personnel communication

Concordia formation linguistique anglais PNL developpement personnel communication

Concordia formation linguistique anglais PNL developpement personnel communication

Concordia formation linguistique anglais PNL developpement personnel communication

 

 

The 7 symptoms of the trainers’ curse

 

Are you burdened by the trainer’s curse?

Many a trainer is hindered with a trait that damages productivity & effectiveness and constrains our creative potential in the training room. As a consequence, your training style suffers, you cannot transmit at « full power » and in the end, the trainee’s results suffer.

See if you recognize any of these seven symptoms in yourself:

1. You start talking, stop half way, hesitate and rephrase what you really want to say
2. You often feel like you are your own worst critic
3. You never feel like you’ve done the best you could
4. You second-guess your ideas, even when you know better
5. Other trainers and some trainees make you feel inadequate
6. There’s always something more to learn
7. Training would be so much more enjoyable if you could just relax

Thankfully, if you do recognize any of the above symptoms, you are definitely not alone. In fact, I would say each and every trainer I’ve met has felt the same at least once (and likely more often then they’d like to admit).

So relax, this curse doesn’t have to be permanent and is simple to treat. It even has a name.

Perfectionism: TheTrainer’s Curse

The first thing to realize is that training requires two different modes.

Your main mode is what we usually identify with, which is the training process itself. This is putting words down into that space between you and the trainee.

In the second mode you go from speaker to censor. This is where you clean, edit, critique, format, and ultimately decide when you are done.

Who’s in charge?

Our perfectionism problem starts when we confuse the two modes. As we put words into the air, the censor starts butting in, critiquing as we go. Rather than allow the words to flow, we keep stopping and starting, worrying and fussing, and heckling our own work from within. Wondering if it’s good enough, worrying about how our message will be received. It’s no wonder we find it so hard to get to the end of a 2 hour session when we have two personalities battling for control ofour message! It’s a bit like the angel and the devil in the Tom and Jerry cartoons (is that too old fashioned for you ?)

Censor but don’t agonize

As I mentioned, the censor part of us also gets to decide when we’re finished. The problem is, our internal censor loves to censor and is frankly a little lacking in the self-esteem department. Given a free reign and no deadline, your internal censor would keep censoring long after the ice caps have melted and you’ll have little of interest left to say.

In fact, in most cases our censor need not worry so much, given an opportunity to relax and let the speech flow, our first attempts are generally better than we think. Of course it’s good to censor a little, but I don’t do it right away. Come back to it later in the session if necessary with even a small break in between and it’s far easier to be objective.

No trainer is an island

Finally, don’t feel as if you’re all alone in the process, especially when you are part of a training team (in fact we are the only company in Lyon, to my knowledge with anything approaching a training team). Our team has a sort of « censor » who might have their own idEas about what you are proposing to your trainees. He may often find fantastic what you find rubbish ; he might be able to put another angle on your perception. It could be that you agonize for hours over a tricky section in a game or a sesion, think you have polished it to perfection, only for the censor to nuke it thinking it superfluous. Sorry, that censor, in a sense, should be me, but in reality it can be anyone in the team. Test your ideas on each other, everyone will have an opinion, will have something to add, maybe another way to spice it up.

An alternative to censor is finding a training partner, which could be just what your confidence, and your training approach, needs.